Reproduction jokes
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
Girl: What is abortion?
Man: Ask your brother.
Girl: But I don't have a brother!
Man: Exactly!
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Abortion isn't murder.
It's backspacing a typo.
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pail of water.
Jack came down, and then Jill came tumbling after, so they had a baby...
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.