Reproduction jokes
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
Memes
Just cum.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because he put the wrong sock was put on.
Hehe.