Reproduction jokes
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
Just cum.
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
A: Loading up the dishwasher.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.