Reproduction jokes
Official orgasm donor.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
Just cum.
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"