I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
Quote for the day.
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.
