Remembering jokes

How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.

I donated blood today. In the future, I will try to remember that I'm supposed to donate my blood only.

An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"

The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."

The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"

The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"

Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"

Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"

Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"

The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"

Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"

Friend: "Dagobert Duck."

Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."

Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"

Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"

Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"

Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"

Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"

"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."

Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?

The parents remember 9/11.

What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?

She had small tits.

My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.

I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”

If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.

Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?

Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.

Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.

I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.