I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"
orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
Will you remember me in 7 years?(yes) knock knock (who's there)
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage"
If you guessed "Marriage" your stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never get's old to him. Just like the baby.
Wen you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: Stop shaking the ladder you cunt!
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
lol I keep stealing my dad's medication money and the best part is he never remembers.
when you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family buisness
