Remembering jokes
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
Remember: Alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but neither does milk or water.
Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)