Dont worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head
Jared from Subway-Remember kids tuna sub backwards is what I'm going to do on your face
I only remember my fathers last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
I was digging a hole in the garden untill i found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered i was digging a hole in the garden.
i will always remember my grandfathers last words "ill just check if its poisonous".
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words
Are you getting the knife
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
As l get older I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that If you ever feel useless...
Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
the Taliban
When you go over a speed bump but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone
Your hairline goes so far back it remembers the big band
when your deppresed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
First of all, If a Woman Sue's Bill Cosby for Drugging & Rape 50 Years ago, & She Could still remember it, IT COULDNT HAVE BEEN ALL BAD
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it's early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" *Lauren hears noise* Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: *laughs* Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother Mikey*
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed but I remembered you were adopted...
Someone: PLEASE EAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE *Me tryna remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because ive already googled it and given up because it takes too long* Me: Na yeah I still have 19 days left
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
