Remembering jokes

When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.

You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.

It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".

If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?

The parents remember 9/11.

"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"

I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?

Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"

Friend: "Dagobert Duck."

Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."

Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"

Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"

Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??

I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.

Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?

Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.

You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!

Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.

Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.

Sans: Kid, I will kill you.

Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!

Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!