I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . "You little bastard!"
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
when you go to a orphanage for a field trip :when the workers said i remember you as a kid
What does a cow say when he remembers something? "I have deja moo!"
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus’s birth date
my friend died from an allergic reaction.he gave me an EpiPen while he was dying so now i have something to remember him from.
my friend was on wheelchair......he committed suicide yesterday, I remember when i met him last time he told us a good joke and i appreciated him and i told him to become stand up comedian.
I remember when I was a kid i thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right, they used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.
when you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family buisness
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts... I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.