Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
What do you call a dad in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.
I am glass! People see right through me.
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking. But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...
Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
Yo mama's so stupid, she had a staring contest with a mirror.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
