Religion jokes

Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.

Satan and the devil are alter egos.

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"

So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."

One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.

When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."

How do you kill a little boy?

You throw him between two Catholic priests.

Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??

Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋

Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?

A: One uses one nail to hang.

What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?

One had the last supper.

What is a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.

This guy is boiling water. The girl walks in and says, “What are you doing?” The guy says, “I’m making Holy Water.” She said, “How?” He said, “I’m boiling the hell out of it.”

Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"

"My penis."

Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.

What did God say when he made Jake Paul?

"Oops, I made a mistake."

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?

How do you get a nun pregnant?

You dress her up as an altar boy.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.