Religion jokes
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?
A: One uses one nail to hang.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
This guy is boiling water. The girl walks in and says, “What are you doing?” The guy says, “I’m making Holy Water.” She said, “How?” He said, “I’m boiling the hell out of it.”
Pope Francis: "What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross?"
"My penis."
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
You dress her up as an altar boy.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.
How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?
There’s a stairway to heaven.