Religion jokes
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.