Religion jokes
What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.
When Mother Teresa went to heaven, she was greeted by Saint Peter with a halo for her dedication to the needy. After walking around for a while, she saw Lady Diana with a bigger halo. She got angry at Lady Diana and went to Saint Peter and asked him why she had a bigger one, and Saint Peter said, "Oh, that’s not a halo, that’s a steering wheel."
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?
A: One uses one nail to hang.