Relationship jokes
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?...
'Cause they need to find someone to call DADDY.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
If her internal clock can tick, she can sit on my dick.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
Baby, here's my anus.
Baby, too, where's my anus?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"
I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...
What does an orphan call a family picture?
"A selfie."
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
What do you call a simp, Adrian?
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
Wanna make out, Explain Bear?