Relationship jokes
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because it's all about family!
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.