Relationship jokes
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
Memes
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
Why was the Orphan boy gay?
So he can call someone Daddy.
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
I actually want peace, not war.
That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"
He says, "No."
She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."