Relationship jokes

I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.

The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"

The second said: "I'd do it for free!"

The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"

The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"

Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏

Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?

A: Because they can't multiply.

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

School Rizz:

You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield