Relationship jokes

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because it's all about family!

Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

What do the Twin Towers and my ad's condom both have in common?

They both broke and everybody cried.

My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.