Relationship jokes

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.

I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.

Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

Why do sisters hate you?

Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P

Wow, Gwen even said she loves TJ! She just did!

Prince, look at it. You are going to be crushed. It is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments, look there!

I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.

Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?

Sally.

My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.

If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.

And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"

He says, "No."

She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.