What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?
Super Smash Bros.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
