Relationship Jokes

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

A couple is on their first date.

Man: How do you feel about sex?

Woman: I like it infrequently.

Man: I see. Is that one word or two?

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

Ex: baby i miss u.

Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.

Ex: who died?!

Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.

When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.

So Kenny finally found his one true love.

But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.

My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.

We had sex afterwards even though she lost.

Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.

Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍

After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"

Me: "Nope."

Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."

Me: "You never said \"love\"".

Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"

Me: "Frick no."

Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.

Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”

The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”

He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”

What's the best thing about a blowjob?

- The silence.

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.

When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.

So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.

He'll probably leave her alone now.

He doesn't eat vegetables.