Relationship jokes
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.
It's been a while since I've talked to either Prince or tj. Do any of you boys wanna chat? Plapls?
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
My best friend ran away with my wife. I really miss him.
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
FUCK ME DADDY!!!!
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.
What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.