Relationship jokes

Your mom gay.

What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.

I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.

I just had sex.

Your mom is a mom!

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

Joke: Tori’s boyfriend's life 😂😂

My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.

I love you, my new phone! 📲

What can you build with people? A boat!

Knock knock.

Who is there?

Mother.

Mother who?

Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!

Ask me who Joe is.

Who is Joe?

JOE MAMA!

If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?

You can't get either one at home.

Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3

Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.

Mom: jk

"UwU my balls says mommy."

"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."