Relationship jokes
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
My family.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
God made Adam and Eve. Satan made Adam and Steve.
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?
In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.
You and Jason in your bed.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.
After every line, say “I’m a man.”
I went to the club. (I’m a man)
I met a girl. (I’m a man)
I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)
We got some drinks. (I’m a man)
I took her home. (I’m a man)
We got in bed. (I’m a man)
She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)
I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"
I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...