Relationship jokes

I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.

So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.

When an African has a twin, your me??

I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!

Me and a girl went on a walk...

Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)

Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.

Shitmate: You’re so shitable.

Me: Bring banana ice cream.

Shitmate: Never happening.

Friends = your power level.

Emo kid = power level: 0000.

Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!

Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Mary."

"Mary who?"

"Marry me!"

Mom, am I adopted?

What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.

You're so hot!

So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.

Why did he kill himself?

Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?

Tequila.

One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.

I just want to say this...

You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)

Your mum... payed other people to take you!!!!