Relationship jokes

Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?

Ariana

Account for me too, baby👧! Is so cute together with game slot jokes.

If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.

What do girls after sex with Pinocchio?

Wash off the birch sap from the face.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait........

You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?

Wait..........

What do my cock and money have in common?

Your mom.

I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.

I'll let you decide.

Me: And this is the room I cry in.

Date: You've said that about every room.

Me: Correct!

All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.

Me: "WYD?"

Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."

Me: "Without me? Lol"

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.

Mickey: I want a divorce!

Minney: Are you fricking crazy?

Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

Your mum... payed other people to take you!!!!

I feel wrong. What does this make us?

Still cousins.

My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.

Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

What do you call a photo of an orphan who takes a selfie?

A family portrait.