Relationship jokes
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
"UwU my balls says mommy."
"Wait, what?" says Jonny. "That's not my mommy!"
Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!
I just want to say this...
You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Me and a girl went on a walk...
Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)
Friends = your power level.
Emo kid = power level: 0000.
I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.