Relationship jokes

Your mom is a joke.

A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."

He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."

Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."

What do girls after sex with Pinocchio?

Wash off the birch sap from the face.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait........

You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?

Wait..........

Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!

If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...

My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."

Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.

Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

Me: And this is the room I cry in.

Date: You've said that about every room.

Me: Correct!

Me: "WYD?"

Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."

Me: "Without me? Lol"

Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.

I either added you because we have shit tons of mutuals, or 'cause I'd let you spit alcohol in my mouth.

I'll let you decide.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.

I feel wrong. What does this make us?

Still cousins.

Hi, son.

Mickey: I want a divorce!

Minney: Are you fricking crazy?

Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!