Relationship jokes
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they got nobody to call "daddy."
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!
Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!
Kariah: That's sad!
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.
Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.