Relationship jokes
Two sticks only make a fire.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
Your mum gay.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
My buddy and I both wanted to marry a woman who happened to be an amputee.
Sadly, my buddy won her heart, but I got her leg.
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?
Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.
This dick ain't gon to suck itself.
<😏__ \ 👇 \ _/ 🍆\_
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and touched her thigh and said, "Do you wanna?" Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and they had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pills, and so they had a son.
Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!
Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!
Kariah: That's sad!
Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.
Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.