Relationship jokes

Me: Mom, we made a cake.

Bully: Guess what?

Me: What?

Bully: Nobody cares!

Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!

Your mum gay.

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.

What do girls and toilet roll have in common?

They both deal with a lot of crap.

Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.

Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."

What song does an orphan hate?

"We Are Family."

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.

I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.

Don't ever wanna fuck a dude!!

Why does your mom hate you?

Because you are a loser.

What does a wife and a boombox have in common?

They only work when you beat them.

Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.

This news: family neuters furry son.

What do you think of your mom? I can do it.

Is your name ooOOo? Because my name is lalala.

oOO laLA!

Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.

The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.