Relationship jokes
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
Two sticks only make a fire.
My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.
What did Love name his daughter?
Sweetheart. ♥
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
Your mum gay.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?
A family photo.
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!