I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
Relationship Jokes
My mum.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
What did Little Johnny say to his dad?
Johnny: "Dad, please not again! I'm too young!"
She'd suck my dick and let me suck her tits.
I'm Joe Biden's husband.
You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?
What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?
A face full of sperm.
Roses are red, Foxes are orange, I like your butt, Let me touch it forever.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll f*ck your mom, and you'll be next.
What is a redneck virgin?
A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.
What is a threesome?
1 + 1 = 3
Why can't orphans suck dick?
Because they don't have a stepbro.
Sex has no feeling with our cousin. Because both are relative.
Why can't orphans have a girlfriend?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT.
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.
