Relationship jokes
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
Meeting a girl at the park is good. But parking meat in a girl is better.
I just want to say this...
You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
Want to have sex?
Knock knock. Who’s there? Ur uncle. What? Is ur RBLX gf?
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.