Relationship jokes
How did the guy greet his wife?
"Howdy, sister!"
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
Pussy = drugs.
I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?
Who likes penis?
My cousin!
I f*** my dad. Please help me. 😭😭😭😭
What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?
Does it cycle now?
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
My dad asked, "Where are you going?"
Me: "Back to the orphanage."
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
Roses are red, Violet are blue, Ur dad bought you.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
This dick ain't gon to suck itself.
<😏__ \ 👇 \ _/ 🍆\_