Relationship jokes

What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"

He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"

Dad: Uh, yeah!

Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!

Parents: Sex!

Son: What?

Parents: Look, you can spectate!

My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.

When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.

Ya nan does gymnastics with her boyfriends.

Two sticks only make a fire.

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

What did Love name his daughter?

Sweetheart. ♥

She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.

My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.

Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Exactly.

What do you think of your mom? I can do it.

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.

Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*

She has cancer.

Incest.

When your genealogy chart is a straight line.

Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”

The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”

Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.

So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.

My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"

What did the dick say to the asshole?

You need another dick.