Relationship jokes

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "Daddy~"

Why was the Orphan boy gay?

So he can call someone Daddy.

Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.

Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

I wanna date you.

Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

Yo mama's such a milf, she deserves a tongue punch in the fart box.

Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.

The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.

Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.

This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!

What did the snail say to his ex-wife?

"I'm still leaving you!"

Guy: Do you want a nickel?

Girl: Sure.

Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?

Girl: 😳😩😩😩

Why is my dad gone?

I don't know.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.

I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.

I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"

Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.

It's not incest if you're adopted.

what's the difference between a dog and a dad? The dog comes back.

"Princess, let's talk!"

How do you get two deaf people from fighting?

Turn off the lights and walk out.