Relationship jokes

I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.

A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.

What song does an orphan hate?

"We Are Family."

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.

This news: family neuters furry son.

I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.

Don't ever wanna fuck a dude!!

Why does your mom hate you?

Because you are a loser.

What does a wife and a boombox have in common?

They only work when you beat them.

Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

Is your name ooOOo? Because my name is lalala.

oOO laLA!

Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.

The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.

How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!

My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.

What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"

He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"

Dad: Uh, yeah!

Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!

Parents: Sex!

Son: What?

Parents: Look, you can spectate!

What do you think of your mom? I can do it.

When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.