Relationship jokes
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
What's the difference between me and an orphan?
At least my dad came back.
My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Want to do a titcock dance with me?
I love Mekhi!
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
What is the difference between you and an orphan?
Orphans have zero family.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
I found your parent!
I'll really mist ya.
Hey Prince, let's chat here, okay? Love you!
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.