Relationship jokes
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
Dad, I love you.
Son, I love you.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Who needs sex when they have Valorant?
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
What do you call an orphan selfie?
A family photo.
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
The thing my mom birthed.
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.