Relationship jokes

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

I turned gay because my wife is too poor.

"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

What did Mrs. Hotdog join after Mr. Hotdog joined LGBBQ+? The LGBBQ++ premium.

I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.

I just had sex...

I think I nailed it!

(Shit joke, I know.)

What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?

What is the difference between you and a calendar?

A calendar has dates.

Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."

Yo mama so hot that even Sodapop Curtis flirts with her.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

Calendars got dates.

Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!