Relationship jokes
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
Yo mamma sucks!
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
What should you do after banging the tightest pussy?..
Just put the diaper on her 😉
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.
"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."
And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"
The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
I got a text from Kb. She said: "Really Gwen said that! Will fine Idc! \"Hurt\""
Thanks a lot, Gwen!
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."