Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
Relationship Jokes
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
Did you sit in sugar?
Because you've got a sweet ass.
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
My mom
