Relationship jokes
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Sister.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.
I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?