Relationship jokes
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
Memes
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
You realize we are tolerating you, right?
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!
My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?
Me: (¬‿¬)
Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.