Relationship jokes
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
Dad, I love you.
Son, I love you.
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
How does an orphan call his parents?
"..."
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
Being an orphan always has an upside; for instance, a bag of chips is family-sized.
Gwen!!!!!! I need your help!!!!!!!!!!
Hello, I am Ren, sister of Gwen.
"Poo heads."
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.