Relationship jokes

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.

9 months before I was born,

I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.

I like my coffee like I like my women.

Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.

Your mom.

Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?

"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"

No one has my back like my dad.

They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.

Sister.

Why can't melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

Connor: Hi Mom.

Mom:

Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!

What do you call your son?

An mistake.

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

Where did the cows go to a date?

To the moo-vies!

My father can take a joke because he made one.