Relationship jokes
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
Homie: Let's meet.
Skrr: It's 🔥🌭
Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!
My mom
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
You realize we are tolerating you, right?
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
Not a joke.
Any girls looking for a steamy hot man?
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.