Relationship jokes
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
Her name was Lola.
She was a loner.
At the Copa.
Then I saw her,
And I got a boner.
The next morning,
She couldn't remember if I banged her.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Memes
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.
#GwenComeBack Gwen please come back!
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
Stop it with the "yo mama" jokes. They are just offensive.
Hey guys, I'm back. I was grounded by my grandfather, so, yeah.
"Poo heads."
You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Why is it good to be an orphan?
Because every bag of chips is family sized.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"