An orphan goes to a family restaurant with her doll.
"I'm sorry but you can't be here," said the man. "This is a family restaurant." The orphan said, "This is my family," then pointed to her doll.
I miss my wife, Tails.
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.
🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦄🦁🦁🦁🐩🐖🐒🐷🐵🐎+/;!¥/%? Fuckfuckfuuk of your own is also a joke about your relationship with Google and Twitter users who don't know what they think of their own personal life, and the way they have been involved since the last few years of debate is the only thing.
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
You and Jason in your bed.
Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!
Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!
Kariah: That's sad!
It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
