Relationship jokes
Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!
Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Being an orphan always has an upside; for instance, a bag of chips is family-sized.
Memes
Gwen!!!!!! I need your help!!!!!!!!!!
Stop it with the "yo mama" jokes. They are just offensive.
"Poo heads."
You’re like a fine wine. The more of you I drink in, the better I feel.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a ‘fine-apple.’
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
My family is like a cactus. They're a bunch of pricks.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?