When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
Relationship Jokes
What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?
They both fell on my dad.
I hate family reunions. I see too many of my exes there.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
My mom loves balls.
But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.
What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
Her name was Lola.
She was a loner.
At the Copa.
Then I saw her,
And I got a boner.
The next morning,
She couldn't remember if I banged her.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Her Name was Lola. She was a loner. At the Copa I saw her And I just wanted to bone her!
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Me: You have pretty eyes.
Her: Thank you.
Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
