Relationship jokes
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
What did the girl say Big Fella27 said, "I love Big Fella 27?"
"Same." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
Memes
Hollow Knight Meme
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101
#GwenComeBack Gwen please come back!
Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.
Her: Prove it.
Me: (opens freezer)
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
Who needs sex when they have Valorant?
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.