Relationship jokes

The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.

What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.

Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?

Because they have no family to share it with.

Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter.

Jill came down, and she had two-fifty! Oh, what a whore! (Andrew Dice Clay joke.)

I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.

I miss Gwen.

Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?

They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

What actor do orphans hate?

Dom Terreto (family).

What do you call your mom? Gay.

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.

Family feud after finding out about Alabama.

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."

Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.

I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.

Random guy: Hi, how old are you?

Me: 15

The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.

Me: Do you know what else is a number?

The guy: What?

Me: 911

Oh, brother!