Relationship jokes

I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.

I miss Gwen.

Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?

They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

What actor do orphans hate?

Dom Terreto (family).

What do you call your mom? Gay.

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.

Family feud after finding out about Alabama.

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."

Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.

I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.

Random guy: Hi, how old are you?

Me: 15

The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.

Me: Do you know what else is a number?

The guy: What?

Me: 911

Oh, brother!

A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.

The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"

The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?

A misfit.

What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.

Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,

And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."