Relationship jokes

Oh, brother!

I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

What do you call your mom? Gay.

Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.

I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.

Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?

Because they have no family to share it with.

Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter.

Jill came down, and she had two-fifty! Oh, what a whore! (Andrew Dice Clay joke.)

A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.

I miss Gwen.

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."

What actor do orphans hate?

Dom Terreto (family).

Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?

They can't stand to see a man have a good time.

Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”

She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."