Relationship jokes
Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!
They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."
I f..... Nan and dust came out. 😂
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
I love my dog, Sadie.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Who's the smallest wife??
Micro-wife.
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.