Relationship jokes
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
My Dad: Son, history always repeats itself.
Me: So you're gonna leave me again?
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
Like, and comment if you're single.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?
Your nan's a GILF!
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
What's one plus one?
Yo mama.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣