Relationship jokes
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
My dad left me, lol.
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
Memes
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?
To have someone to call "daddy."
Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
You should always be happy about family and love.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Why did the boy ask a question to the girl?
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
I love my dog, Sadie.
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?
Nothing.
Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?
She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.