Relationship jokes

Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.

Your mom is hot.

Why do orphans not like jokes?

Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

Are you a haunted house?

Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.

My friend Harry.

I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mom." "Your mom who?" "It's not your mom, it's my mom!"

What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?

"I don’t have a mama."

Why is it better to date an orphan?

Their parents are never home.

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?

Me: Look at the stars in the sky.

Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?

Me: No, it’s a waste of time.

Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.

Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.

Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?

Person: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes?

Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?

Orphan: MOTHER!

Person: Let's go home!

Orphan: Uhhhh

*She was never to be seen again*

Is your mom a virgin?

Mine is.

How am I alive?

You tell me.

A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.