If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
So I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: not again brother I'm only 8
i told my mom that i have a crush she replied with: "so u like girls" i said: "uhm no no no " BUT im lesbian someone help how do i tell her without her hitting me with a belt??
Incest is wincest (That was above) Fun for the whole family! Next of kin, count me in!
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
I DIDNT FART MY ASS LIKES YOU SO MUCH IT JUST BLEW YOU A KISS!
I was hunting at night for deer and then I found one and shot it, I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
Him: What's The Difference Between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, Either way you will be dating your Cousin
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
Wait, I can explain everything!
Literally every movie:
"I love you" "I love u too"
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes u!" Him: "wtf I have a grilfriend sorry not sorry" His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country". 😶
Quote for the day
I looked this quot up but It really is a good thing just for starters.
“Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY”
Also loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen
:)
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
I was having sex with my girl and she said she likes it rough so i socked her in the face.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks "did you get her number?". He replies "no, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion"
My Sex Life
A guy and girl had sex poem competition. Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine." Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders? He hit them all when he started shooting his shot
Grandma: most people your age, have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?
Grandchild: most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?
