Relationship jokes
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
Your mom's my dad. Think about that!
My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
The other day my wife told me to pass her her lipstick, but I accidently passed her a glue stick... she still isn't talking to me.
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
It's a life sentence!