Relationship jokes

Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.

The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.

Have a guess who came crawling back?

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!

Do you know why orphans can't get married?

Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD

When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.

I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.

Welcome for the rhyme.

Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.

If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.

Why did most orphans become prostitutes?

Because they wanted a daddy.

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

Cancer doesn't leave.

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jill’s real name was Randy.

People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?

Because they want to call someone "daddy."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "daddy."