Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
Relationship Jokes
Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.
Your mom's hot.
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
Ur mom gay.
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
