Relationship jokes

Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.

What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?

They can both squirt out their cum.

What's the same with a controller and a woman?

They both work if you hit them.

Come on guys, this is nasty, he was my uncle, ffs :(

Hi Leyla, I have been trying to reach you for a while. Where have you been? I was wondering if you wanted to chat.

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

So she could have someone to call daddy.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.

Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!

My name is Justin. I like boys. Hit me up?

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

Your family in a nutshell.

Adopted kid:

Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

Alex:

Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

Adopted kid:

OK, dad Alex.

Alex:

Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

Adopted kid:

I’m so glad I have a mom.

So one time this really rich guy’s son’s birthday was coming up. So he asks his son what he wants. So the son says, "Can I have pink ping pong balls?" The father asks why, and his son stays silent.

The dad decides to get it for him. The dad doesn’t see the son ever do anything with them. A year later the dad asked him what he wants. The son then says, "Can I have 10,000 pink ping pong balls?" The dad then responds with, "Son, why? I gave you some last year, and this whole year you did not play with them." The son, yet again, stays silent. The Dad was reluctant to do it but did it anyway.

Now a few years later, the son is now 20, and his rich dad and him have not seen each other in a while. So the dad decides to celebrate his son's birthday. He asks his son once again what he wants, and his son says, "Can I have 10,000 pink ping pong balls?" His dad screams, "SON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE BALLS!!! I NEVER SEE YOU WITH THEM, AND YET YOU STILL WANT MORE. WHAT THE HELL!!!" The son, yet again, stays silent. The dad, though a little pissed, decides to buy as much of the pink ping pong balls that he sees and gives it to his son. The son is happy but does not do anything.

Now after a while, the son is about 30, and he and the father are more distant than ever. The father gets a call from a hospital telling him that his son could die from a disease that only 2 people survived. So the father goes there and starts crying and grieving. Then he asks his son what he would like before he dies. The son then says, "Can you buy me all of the factories that produce pink ping pong balls?" His dad doesn’t question because he is too sad to and buys him the only factory that produces pink ping pong balls. Then the doctors put him in a wheelchair and follow the dad, and they take him to one of the pink ping pong ball factories, and the dad says, "Okay, son, I fulfilled what you wanted. But what have you done, and what do you plan to do with all of these pink ping pong balls?" The son, ignoring the question, says, "This is magnificent. My final wish is that I stay here overnight."

So the doctors and the father decide to, and everyone goes home to sleep. The next day, everyone returned to the factory to find all the pink ping pong balls gone and the son. The father was sad but a little angry and decided to search his whole house to find pink ping pong balls but doesn’t find any, and they search the whole factory for the son and the balls. And soon they end up searching the whole earth and never found him.

My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.

Now she's having a breakfast.

What does your mum have in common with your dad?

They are both men.

When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.

Like if your dad is abusive.

Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!

James Arnold: My grandma walked in while I was knife raping my wife.

If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.

I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.