Relationship jokes

Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.

Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?

Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."

Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.

What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?

Down bad.

What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?

You only see one asshole in 69.

My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.

She's not the only one who can play that game.

What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.

Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?

Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"

Hey Gwen, let's chat from 1:00 p.m. to 2:00! Love, Prince 🌹

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Mother!

Mother who?

It's your mother.

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

I'll give you an A because you're awesome.

B because you're beautiful.

A C because you're caring.

And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.

Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.

Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.