Relationship jokes
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
I bet you like men!
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna
Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Urmom.