Relationship jokes

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Why do orphans play tennis?

So they can finally get love.

You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.

Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.

What is the other word for an orphan?

Paren't.

You're more uglier.

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

POV: Your mum is a bomber.

Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?

Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.

According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)