Relationship jokes
My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
Me and the boys are cool.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait/A selfie.
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A selfie.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!