Relationship jokes
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.
I hate my stupid wrinkly ring doing f, dad!
joanna be like
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
What did Mickey Mouse say to Minnie Mouse: "I don't use condoms; I use my drawbridge."
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."