Relationship jokes
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
You're more uglier.
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
POV: Your mum is a bomber.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."
Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."
Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
Neona (😞): Are you mad at me?
Gwen (😌): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!
Neona (😁): Agreed!
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.