Relationship jokes
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because its uncles were all aunts!
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
I love you.
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
Memes
That do be me though
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.