Relationship jokes
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
The thing my mom birthed.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
Guys watch out
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
One day, I love you.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
My dad left me.
Why did the bee get married?
Because she found her honey.
So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"
I like this Russian girl, but she hasn't asked me to hang off a cliff while drinking vodka.
Yo mom!
My mate Noha.