Relationship Jokes

When an orphan takes a selfie, is that their family photo?

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)

Me: I know, you always are...

My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"

Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"

That do be me though

The image shows the torso of a person wearing a jacket. The text on the image reads: "we all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice but is still single".

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

She really wanted a boner.

I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa?

Do you love me?

No, Papa.

#### you!

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."

Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!

Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?

A family portrait.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"