Relationship jokes
I hate my stupid wrinkly ring doing f, dad!
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.
This is my brother after getting a girlfriend
Your mum!
People love you.
Don't die.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
Women are like tornadoes.
They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.