What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Kylin fucks his sister.
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
