Relationship jokes
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
By the time I ran my wife over with my car, I had to stop for gas twice.
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!