Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why do Jedis stay single?
Because they use "divorce" (the Force).
May divorce be with you!
I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.
She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭
Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
Like if your dad is abusive.
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
His gay ass dad.
Are you a marry, because you are my mother?
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
If an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3
