Relationship jokes
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.
Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they have no one to call "daddy."
My dad is now a milkman.
Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.
I love Bubba girls and yea.
What does an orphan's family photo called?
A selfie.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one they can call "daddy."
I like to make your mom jokes.
Because they're easy like your mom.
If you can't see your family... you're an orphan.