My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
Relationship Jokes
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.
Husband: I look fat, can someone compliment me?
Wife: You have good eyesight.
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?
Your bitch has Covid-19.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
I keep looking for my girlfriend's killer, but no one wants to do it.
