Relationship jokes

Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.

Mom!

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"

Your dad.

drew here freshfry you are almost deadfry! I forgive you, just don't do it again. You know what I am talking about!

Quin loves Robin. All he says is "Robin." This isn't a joke; Quin's gay.

Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.

Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.

At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.

I always say I'm single, which annoys my wife.

What is a threesome?

1 + 1 = 3

When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!

Man: Hey Siri!

Siri: Yes?

Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?

Siri: Uh...

*phone literally explodes*

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

Yo momma's so fat that she got married to diabetes!

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!