Relationship jokes
Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.
And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.
Who ever said "condom?" YES DADDY!
Mom!
Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.
Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!
Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."
Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."
Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."
When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down, and she had two-fifty! Oh, what a whore! (Andrew Dice Clay joke.)
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
Yo, back off from my homey Freshfry; he's mine!
HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.
Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could suck Jill’s candy.
Jack got a shock because Jill’s real name was Randy.
Hey Gwen, reply to me and say if everything is alright.
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂