What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
Relationship Jokes
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Just cum.
Official orgasm donor.
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Yo mama joke.
If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay?
Because he wanted someone to call "daddy."
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I have a secret crush on your momma.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
