Relationship jokes
Your mom and your dad.
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
I like my men like I like my coffee: black and hot.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
Your momma! OHHHHH!
Daddy, harder!
I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.
Are you adopted?
No.
I mean, who would want you?
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
Your mother.
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.