Red jokes

Roses are red, The forest is bushy, OMG did you just cum in my pussy?

What's white and black and red all over? A nun that fell down stairs.

Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.

Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."

Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.

So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Don't touch the beds, they are sticky with white goo.

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?

I don't have the Ferrari.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.

Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."

What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?

Her abortion.

There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.

One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!

What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?

The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.

Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I have a gun,

GET IN THE VAN!!