Red jokes
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.
Memes
What is red and puts out fire?
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You missed your lesson today, so you are gay.
"Roses are red, shut up and go to bed."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.
If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.
What’s red, gold, and blank in Las Vegas?
Tupac
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.