Red jokes
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
Roses are red, Violet are blue, Ur dad bought you.
What is red, white, and blue all over?
A dead cop.
Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.
Me: Nice.
Friend: She got some red on her shirt.
Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
Why did the tomato go red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
AMONG US IMPOSTER VENTED RED SUS AMOGUS EMERGENCY MEETING SABOTAGED DEAD BODY REPORTED HAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING...DINGDINGDING, DUN DUN
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.
What’s red, gold, and blank in Las Vegas?
Tupac
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
What is red and puts out fire?
Roses are red, violets are blue, The children are fast, But Elmo is faster, Bow down to your master!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You missed your lesson today, so you are gay.
What do you call an Indian?
Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.