Red jokes
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
What's red, takes my belt, and what I got from a weird children's house?
An orphan.
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
Why is the sun red today?
The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
What's black and white and red all over? An American School.
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!