What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!

what turns red, blue then white? the last person that I’d strangle

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The old lady thinks, “I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert.”

The blonde thinks, “I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him.”

The Frenchman thinks, “I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.”

The Englishman thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again.”

what’s black and red and is a liquid? my scars!

Roses are red Violets are blue, I’d get in the van if I where you…

a blond, a red head, and brunette, were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

Roses are red, I dont know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

Roses are red Violets are blue Once I’n done choking you You will be too.

What’s black and white and red all over? A massacre at a funeral.

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”

What’s red and bad for your teeth? – A brick.

What’s red and in a corner ? A baby with a razor blade What’s green and in a corner ? The same baby three weeks later

the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a gun Get in the van

Roses are red shit is brown get that dick out my ass so we can go to town

The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

Why does the nurse need a red pen?

In case she has to draw blood

a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that’s my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask’s whats that,the little girl says "that’s my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask’s the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try’s putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see’s blood on the floor the mother ask’s "what happened the little girl say’s “we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off”

Roses are red Walls are made of plaster Schoolchildren can move fast But bullets can move faster