Name

Life

Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!

White

miss killer

what turns red, blue then white? the last person that I’d strangle

Hell

p....

Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you.

Nun

Autobot Blaster

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

Head

Anonymous

a blond, a red head, and brunette, were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

Woman

Madison R.

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”

Blue

Anonymous

Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple Not F—ing blue!

Blue

Anonymous

roses are red violets are blue if you ever feel alone i’m always watching you

Orphan

Anonymous

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes)

  1. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick

  2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

  3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.

  1. Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

  2. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

  3. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

  4. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Blue

Anonymous

Roses are red Violets are blue, I’d get in the van if I where you…

Blue

Anonymous

Roses are red Violets are blue Once I’n done choking you You will be too.

White

Anonymous

The colours red, white and blue are the colours of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

Die

Huggi

Roses are red, I dont know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

Dad

Dadless

Roses are red My soul is black I am never getting My dad back

Puns

Talory

What did the green light say to the red light - don’t look I’m changing

Fat

Anonymous

Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 big macs

White

Johnny

What’s black and white and red all over? A massacre at a funeral.

Fire

Lucky

What do you call a red neck on fire. A fire cracker

Depression

Cut

What’s both red, white and sometimes purple My arms…

Priest

Anonymous

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

Loading...