Red jokes
Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
A burglar breaks into the home of a weapons engineer. He wants to steal some of his weapons from his strictly secured chamber. When he breaks in through the window to go into his weapons cellar, he realizes that the inventor is at home and heard him from upstairs.
The burglar shouts, "Hands up, there is no escape!" The engineer shouts, "What do you want from me?" The thief answers impatiently, "Well, what do you think? I know what you're hiding here. Get me entry to your armory, right away!" "Never in my life will I do that!" The burglar pulls out his pistol, "Either you let me in, or you go for it!"
"Well, I'll give up, I'll give you my guns. Please don't shoot me." The burglar grins gleefully, "Thank you." "I even have a gun here that I've been working on lately. You can have it." The burglar then thinks and grunts, "Okay, before you open up, you'll show me this first!"
The inventor says, "It's shooting plasma. You can test it on one of my practice goals that I've made while I'm unlocking," and points to a side room where various dummies with targets are set up. The burglar walks into the room with the targets, focuses on the red dot in the middle of the disc, and pushes off. But the gun does not fire plasma or at the target. Instead, the gun fires a bullet at the burglar. This causes him to bleed to the ground.
The engineer behind him began to laugh, "Hahaha! I knew you were falling for it! This is not a plasma gun at all; this is my latest invention, especially for burglars like you: the backward-shooting pistol."
Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
Roses are red Lemons are sour Lift your skirt up and give me an hour
Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?
Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.
Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: The U.S. in 1919!
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead because of you.
Actually, not because of you... because of your face.
Roses are red, the Jews hate goys,
Union of Creepy Janitors (UCJ) opposes school choice.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a Glock aimed at you.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?