Recreation jokes

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?

A baby with flat armbands!

I like to drown in a pool.

I mean billiards...

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"

Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?

A Kinder Surprise egg.

Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.

What do you call a pool full of white people?

Kix.

Having sex while camping is fucking in-tents.

Why couldn't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home! 😂

Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.

One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"

The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."

After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."

The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"

After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.

The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."

The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."

The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."

The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."

The first kid then says: "I know, right?"

They then begin a snowball fight.

The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"

Two people were on a boat. They were afloat on water!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home.

Have you ever had sex camping?

It's inTENTS.

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.