Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
"Why don't skeletons go skydiving?"
"Because they don't have the guts... or the parachute!"
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Bassline.
Why did the rapper go to the beach? (Part 2)
To drop some TIGHT RHYMES!
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To catch some SICK WAVES!
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some FLOW-TIDE!
What do you call a rapper who can't swim?
A FLOATER!
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES fishing?
MC Angler.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES fishing?
MC Bass-Drop.
