Sky Diving jokes

Me: Have you ever went sky diving?

Friend: No.

Me: Well don't, it sucks.

Friend: Why?

Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.

A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.

So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.

Yo mama so fat, when she went sky diving everyone screamed "METEOR!!!"

Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?

He won't deploy the parachute.

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?

Splattered.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."