I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
"Holy shit, I burnt one."
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
roses are red violets are blue when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo"
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
person 1- I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date. person 2- OMg
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
