My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
"Holy shit, I burnt one."
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
