What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.
What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?
"I think you're overreacting."
",':/ wait wtf that post below me was gay."
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.
Your face makes onions cry.
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
Removing the polish with chemicals: 😀
Removing the Polish with chemicals: 😳
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.
Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.
Bully: u_u ......
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
