Reaction jokes

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...

And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

Person 2: OMg!

Your face makes onions cry.

When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.

Me: Do you like smash?

Friend: Smash Rolls?

Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!

Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

",':/ wait wtf that post below me was gay."

How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?

He CRACKed up.

Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.

All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.

I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.

What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?

"I think you're overreacting."

Removing the polish with chemicals: 😀

Removing the Polish with chemicals: 😳

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?

If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.

Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.

Bully: u_u ......

Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

Like if you know someone is emo and comment "emo🇷🇺."

Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O