Reaction jokes

Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?

A: An Epstein pen.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.

My teacher got so mad at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and I said, "Damn, got hit twice!"

I saw a poor man and I gave him money, and he said, "Nope, I don't need money." So I gave him money, and he punched me for no reason.

Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.

In fact, they hang with them!

How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.

Me: Do you like smash?

Friend: Smash Rolls?

Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!

Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"

I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."