Want to hear something thatβll make you smile? Your face muscles.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! ππ¨
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach. She asked me why the hell did I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know Iβm pro abortion.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
